The Most Important Advice You Will Receive All Day (Many Bothans in my head died to bring you this information)

Listen up, and listen good. You may need this someday.

If you are not a wildly racist, yet reasonably friendly, small town provincial, do not play Cards Against Humanity with wildly racist, yet reasonably friendly, small town provincials. I cannot stress this enough. You will not have a good time. The only entertainment you will get out of it will lie in trying to remember some of the dumber things that happen so that you can tell people about it later.

You may wonder how I know this.

Well, on my first turn as judge, I had a card that read, “In M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie, Bruce Willis will find out that ________ were really __________ all along.” The 3dgy guy – and it was always obvious which one’s were his – answered “brown people” and “of no real use to society.” Okay, whatever, it’s Cards Against Humanity. People are going to say racist things sometimes. But if you’re going to say things that are racist, make it worthwhile. Make it interesting. This is just racism for racism’s sake. When I read that one aloud, he looked so smug that my red-headed, white-skinned half-Mexican temper almost flared. None of the other ones was particularly funny, either, but I picked one about “My man servant Claude licking things to mark them as his own,” or something, because it was a little funny, or almost so, and certainly closer to it than bare-backed racism. Le sigh.

I loved that at least one of them was a teensy bit uncomfortable when the currency of the future was predicted to be, “Lots and lots of abortions.” I just can’t imagine who would play such a card with that crowd. *clutches the pearls* Shocking. This, among people who repeatedly laughed and chortled about how “bad” they all were.

The problem I have with Cards Against Humanity is that it often chews on its own anus. It just tries so very hard to be offensive that it stops even being shocking or funny, and just ends up with crickets, at least for me. To me, the idea of an Apples to Apples-style game that celebrates no holds barred irreverence is exciting and fun. But where is the irreverence in saying brown people are useless, and then sitting back in your chair like you’ve said something witty? Rush Limbaugh does it all the time. Tell me brown people have been secretly programming us as their minions, like we’re in the Matrix, and they’re the Mr. Andersons. (Bollywood needs to make that movie!!) Tell me brown people are training their dogs to rob laundromats. Tell me brown people can dance because it’s the gods’ compensation for their being poor. I don’t know. Tell me something that requires a little thought. I realize people are confined to what their cards say, but surely if some can manage it, others can.

I’m torn about the Game Night where this happened, at the OtherFLGS. It’s every week, which is nice, on a night when Lane can actually go (he works during the one I go to on Thursdays), which is very nice. We really like the owner of the store, and we often sit down and play real board games with him, and sometimes with a couple of other people. The core of the people who tend to be there, though, are these people. The same people who brought you the “I hate the gays,” clue when they were playing Dixit a while back. I’ve talked before about the fact that we don’t need to become friends with the people we meet at Games Days; we just need to be able to play games with them. But it would be nice to be able to do that.

I can't even.

I can’t even.


About Suzanna

Suzanna's passions are gaming, dogs, and writing. She also loves reading, travel, and cranberry juice. Above all else, she would have it be said that she is compassionate, funny, and too clever by half.
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3 Responses to The Most Important Advice You Will Receive All Day (Many Bothans in my head died to bring you this information)

  1. Steven Pope says:

    There’s a reason I’ve made a conscious effort to not review Card’s Against Humanity. It’s shocking and offensive and almost funny… The first time you play it. Then, several years later, you play it again and realize it’s Apples to Apples but trying to be “mature and edgy,” or at least that’s what the clientele seem to believe. Also, for Mr. 3dgy: He wear a fedora? Horrible facial hair? Doesn’t bathe? I’m playing But I’m A Nice Guy bingo, and I have “passively racist” and “passively homophobic” marked down.

    • Suzanna says:

      Well, he did use “pray the gay away” for something else, so you’re dead-on there. Bad facial hair, check. Ratty t-shirt with stretched out neck – is that on your card? No fedora, alas, and I was fortunate enough not to learn much about the bathing. Shockingly, it came out that he’s single…

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